adwait m. deshpande

But behind enemy lines it’s a completely different story,

with my life on the line I didn’t give a fuck about the glory,

a bullet ripped my thigh and I felt a sharp tingling pain,

and I forgot about it, when I saw the captain take one in the brain.

Operation rolling thunder seems more like operation cruel intentions,

it’s raining, it’s cold, but my neck scarf is my best friend’s intestines,

his bones pierce my flesh and I’m covered in mud,

I’m dizzy and I think I’m dying, cause I’m losing a lot of blood.

I see my whole life flash by, I want to be in the arms of my mother,

but it’s too late for that now, I wish I could trade places with another,

I wake up, I’m in the hospital, I breathe, I’m alive,

but I soon realize how unlucky I’m to have survived.

I cannot move, both my legs and arms are gone,

with no one to hold, I curse the day I was born,

I think we’ve won, but I can’t even raise my fists,

I feel suicidal, but I can’t even take a razor to my wrist.

but when she’s angry, she can make a grown man cry,

and when she smiles, she can make a paraplegic fly,

my friends call me out to play, but I’d rather be alone,

I’d rather think of you and write an ode or a poem,

and translate my thoughts into the english alphabet,

and lyrically mold into verses what my heart truly felt,

you may say this isn’t smart, you may say this isn’t art,

but it doesn’t matter, cause it comes straight from the heart,

you subconsciously embed images in my mind,

so I’d be lying if I said this verse was mine,

you give me a reason to rhyme, so in that way I’m lyrically gifted,

when you’re on my mind, my soul is metaphysically uplifted,

I’m captain Jack Sparrow, and you are my treasure,

but this movie’s a tragedy, cause we can never be together,

the sky weeps for me, and the wind whispers never,

for you I have loved, and I’ll love you forever.

Why do I worry about life’s complexities?

when I’m so comfortable in the passenger’s seat,

and when they said all the best things in life are free,

I’m sure they meant you, for they had forgotten about me.

Extraterrestrials are mad at me, cause I did not return their calls,

and if the valley is my cheek, then my tears are your waterfalls,

you fall asleep with a stomach full of sugar and flour, on the floor,

and you wake up, everyone’s gone, and it’s not your birthday anymore.

I live half the life I should, cause I’m thrifty,

and I also split up the year fifty – fifty,

you keep the spring and summer, I’ll have the winter and autumn,

let the world remember you, and let my name soon be forgotten.

acts tough all the time and plays it cool.

She told me she dabbled in biology and art,

there was something special about her from the very start.

As I was older, I stepped into the shoes of a preacher,

Failed to realize was that I was the student, and she, the teacher.

But she was real, and when my ego started to maximize,

she never took shit from me and cut me right down to size.

Her eyes gleamed, and her manners were gentle,

soon I realized that she was just as sentimental.

We laughed so hard when she stepped into dung,

and I felt ecstatic when invectives rolled off her tongue.                (I still do)

She’s graceful and she’s goofy, she’s warm and she’s cold,

she’s lived too many lifetimes for a sixteen year old.

Time’s circling the drain, and when she gets on that plane,

I know in my heart of hearts that I will not see her again.

Your body – a feast for the fire,

your soul – on a one way track.

I would’ve jumped in the pyre,

if they hadn’t held me back.

I turned my face away,

I couldn’t watch you burn,

and in a dream I had,

I saw a dead man squirm.

God has no plans of ever returning you,

Would He be angry if I thought of joining you,

The bright night sky; stars are holes in heaven’s floor,

waves of your memories, crash against my mind’s shores.

Tears are my only drink, and sorrow is my only bread,

the time that I’m awake, is the time that I truly dread.

Seconds seem like minutes, and minutes seem like hours,

my life is the yellow sand, that the hourglass devours.

I put a gun to my temple and as I pull the trigger,

the bright light at the end of the tunnel, keeps getting bigger.

I walk silently, and the grim reaper follows me,

nothing else matters, for death has already swallowed me.

Man made boundaries cut across my heart,

hope stays with a man, as time departs,

a one sided love, doomed from the very start,

a perfect bull’s eye for stupid cupid’s barbed darts.

The roof is on fire, and all the doors are shut,

an endless reptile slithers through my guts,

My blood clots, my bones crushed to dust,

and God’s intentions I cannot trust.

An old man walks in, greeted with sneers,

and with whispers of lost chances that I overhear,

a burden of regrets that the old man bears,

and in him, I see myself in twenty years.

Blame me for the bitterness, for my dreams were too lofty,

everyday that I spend without you is killing me softly.

Can’t wait much longer, if you got to kill me, do it quickly,

and your a smooth killer, like the ever so talented Mr. Ripley.

I’m addicted to loving you, but they say true love is fatal,

I get my daily dose of war, coz addiction’s an everyday battle.

The more I try to forget, the more I remember you,

Memories of those times, never leave my mind’s view.

Can’t write anymore, and I’ll give you a reason, so listen,

who do I write for, when my most important fan is missing?

There’s nothing left to feel, and nothing left to say,

I would have taken a bullet in the head, over a no, any day.

In an ancient monument,

a lover carves his name on a rock,

just another broken heart,

that the cruel world forgot.

She hates me for who I’m not,

and I hate myself for who I am,

Love is but a bottomless pit,

which breaks the spirit of an honest man.

Partly empty and partly whole,

a loveless life takes it’s toll,

and on the streets of love, I stand alone,

shivering with cold and a begging bowl,

but money can’t buy you love, I’m told,

and there’s no prosthetic for my soul.

I can’t listen to happy songs, so let alone the duets,

Hate all my poems if you can, but promise to love the poet.

I’m willing to wait, until the end of time,

if only in the end, you would be mine.

Even for a nanosecond.

As I walk down the highway that time forgot,

I see a place where the zebras cross,

moments gone by, that the mind embossed,

brightest minds, shine, with the darkest of thoughts.

Elder brother, protect her from herself,

selfish lover, be gentle with my elf,

handsome groom, let her be,

give her room, and set her free.

I’m stuck in a dream that lasts forever,

the chains that bind me cannot be severed,

and love’s a stain they can’t wipe off my shirt,

cause my love wouldn’t end with a fistful of dirt.

Strange it seems, when someone so far,

brings me more pain, than a blues guitar.